THE ARMY OF NIGHTMARES

A receptacle for what's left over when you've sucked the life out of the good stuff. You can freak out and argue over whatever comes to mind.

THE ARMY OF NIGHTMARES

Postby blackfly » Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:02 am

Well, Rev's nightmares at least.

Snarfed down from FB for those of you rightfully zuckerberg-averse:

Image

I bought a very large collection of fantasy minis recently- clearly a long-stored and once much-loved army used for Tolkien-esque battles in a pre-Warhammer age. I've started rebasing and painting for my own use, as the ravages of 30 years in a garage haven't helped their appearance, but am trying to honour the care and attention the original owner lavished on them in his childhood and produce something in the same spirit.

Here's the rub- the army was clearly produced on a school-boy's pocket-money budget, and includes a few recasts. These are rather inexpert recasts of the 'Beorning' from the old Minifigs ME range.

I'm usually dead against recasting, but I'm inclined to soften my stance in this instance. The crime was committed before I was born, it was clearly done in a spirit of childish industry and poverty, the mini is no longer available (as far as I can tell), and I absolutely love his additions of shields, clubs and a flag to the 'command' figures.

Am I wrong to give them a new lease of life? I find the inexpertness of the casting charming (you can see a few have no space between the legs, a few have a truncated muzzle and all lack any real fur texture). I often buy new Minifigs, and I don't feel that I'm diverting income from anyone with this project, but I'll welcome your thoughts on the matter.
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only yard work

Join the conversation in The Shed

The hole is only as deep as you dig it.
-AKULA
User avatar
blackfly
 
Posts: 2684
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:21 pm
Location: two zero six

Re: THE ARMY OF NIGHTMARES

Postby Rev Nice » Fri Apr 14, 2017 2:05 pm

My nostalgic tingly wotsit things over old minifigs are instantly bollock stamped by the awfulness of subject matter.

Bears. A fucking bear army.
Look at those cunts.

Looking like the honey wouldn't melt in their mouths.

But we know the truth.
We know
WE FUCKING KNOW!!!

Two special rules that army should always play with:

1) THERE IS NO SAFE DISTANCE
When charging, this regiment ignores distance. It is placed immediately in contact with the opposing regiment. it is presumed that the enemy unit has already attempted to run away, climb trees, sprint to the point of exhaustion and is now defecating profusely in their undergarments and crying a bit.

2) BEARS ARE CUNTS WHO WILL EAT YOU ALIVE
Roll a D6:
1-3: The enemy regiment is eaten alive. Remove limbs and liberally pour red paint over. Do not remove from table. Leave the horror for all to see.
4-6: The enemy regiment is eaten alive. Move the nearest 4 remaining regiments into base contact. They are investigating the corpses. Then they are eaten alive. Remove limbs and liberally pour red paint over. Do not remove from table. Leave the horror for all to see.
Image
User avatar
Rev Nice
 
Posts: 1402
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 2:03 am
Location: Whorington Quim on Ginge


Return to The Spittoon

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest